Fear of falling: a team effort?

Fear of falling. Do you struggle with it?

Over the course of my climbing and coaching, it’s something that the majority of people have fought with rather than not.  For some it’s an ongoing battle, sometimes it’s there, sometimes it’s not, for others it happens in sport but not trad, or in trad but not sport, or outdoors but not indoors.  Rarely is the issue the same or constant, but it also doesn’t completely go away.  For me it lingers in the background and always rears its head at the beginning of the season.

So much gets written about from the perspective of an individual trying to rectify it on their own, addressing their connection with climbing, dealing with the unknown, failure and previous bad falls and experiences. These can all be real, and may well be the root of your fear of falling, BUT there is a bigger and more obvious way to think about falling FIRST, that rarely gets the headline.

Climbing is a TEAM effort.  There is almost nothing that replaces having a deep trust with your climbing partner.  This goes for bouldering just as much as routes.  There are the practical and technical issues of spotting and belaying, but there is also the true, unwavering belief and encouragement that comes from a climbing partner.  When I really think about it, I know deep down that this one of the most important elements in my climbing and that there are certain people I will climb better with and not worry about falling off with and others I just don’t feel that way. 

A fear of falling is often a cumulative effect, that appears to arise in the moment just before you think you may fall off, but actually is the manifestation of a tiny micro decisions and feelings that add up to general discomfort, meaning falling off is one more thing you just can’t handle.

Kořist 6c+ Dĕčín, Czech Republic 2006ish (felt more like an E4 or E5 with the extremely spaced bolting!). I pretty much spent the whole of this trip terrified - the routes were huge and intimidating and the guidebook indecipherable. It took me all week to psyche up for it. My friends supported me up this route. Photo: Tom Briggs

So BEFORE you go any further down the rabbit hole of wondering what is wrong with you, and why you’re feeling so uneasy about yourself, have you considered any of the following with your climbing partner?

1. Find a climbing partner you completely trust.  It goes without saying, but it doesn’t go unnoticed that some of the best climbers have been or are part of amazing partnerships: Joe Brown/Don Whillans, Tom Randall/Pete Whittaker, Barbara Zangerl/Jacopo Larcher.  Find someone who has the same kinds of climbing aims as you, who will encourage, who understands you and your quirks, who will be quiet when necessary and who is completely watching and focussing on you.  I KNOW this is tricky, especially at the moment given we’re separated from a lot of people and places, but it is something to aim for in the longer term.

2. Have practical conversations with your partner about things you may be concerned about.  Does your belayer give you rope fast enough? Can you be confident enough to have an honest discussion about how to work together as a team when it comes to belaying (and belaying falls)?  Can you dedicate a climbing session just to practise this?  Is there a weight difference?  How will you manage that?  Have you experimented using an Edelrid Ohm?  What if your climbing partner has a tendency to get chatting to the people on the next route?  What if you feel your partner belays better with an ATC but they like a gri gri?  Do you really feel like you will be more confident if you had 2 climbing pads at the base of a boulder problem, rather than 1.  These conversations are REALLY difficult.  But necessary.  Over the years I’ve learnt to have all of them but I’m still learning to be confident to speak to partners about belaying NO MATTER how many years they’ve been climbing.

Do you every feel like this!!! I’m not sure what happened here - I actually think I’d just mucked up a climb and fallen off!

3. Learn to dynamic belay.  I’m always amazed how many people I coach who say they have never experienced a fall as comfortable as it was when I was belaying.  For years I would fall and slam into the rock thinking that was just how it was.  I put up with it until I started to climb with people who could do proper dynamic belays.  Dynamic belays mean there is no tension in the system, not in the climber, rope or belayer.  This is a technical skill than needs to be learnt and practised (I’m planning a blog on this soon).

4. Do a buddy check.  This is NOT just for beginners.  I used to have a climbing partner (names will not be named!!) who would literally be about 2 bolts up a climb before I’d finished putting him on belay.  I hated it!!  It seemed all wrong and I was the belayer getting stressed!  When it came to my turn to lead I just didn’t feel secure.  People make mistakes when they are tired and not concentrating – even after years of climbing.  Doing a buddy check puts SOMETHING at ease, and everything helps on the wall.

5. Update your gear.  Make sure you really trust your gear.  Climb on your own gear if necessary.  Don’t use other people’s old gear (you don’t like or trust) just to please.

6. Agree on helpful language. What your climbing partner does or does not say makes a HUGE difference.  Usually your climbing partner will be saying things with the best possible intention, but in the moment they are not always helpful. “You can do it”, “Breathe”, “You’ve got this” work really well.  “Don’t fall now” or “Are you sure that piece of gear is ok” will put doubt into a mind.  It really takes something as a partner to say the right things, even if you yourself are worried, there is a fine line calling someone down if it’s dangerous and out of control or, in fact they are treading a carefully considered fine line well .  Watch out for crag banter.  I LOVE crag banter, but know when to stop, allow your partner to have time and gather their thoughts.

What are your experiences with falling?  Do you feel it's just 'your' problem, or can you work it through with your partner?  How have you managed these kinds of conversations?  What do you think your reasons are for your fear of falling?  Or have you managed you work through your fears?  I'd love to hear from you.