One year to crack my cold water swimming fear!
Twelve months ago I started cold water swimming. I was both terrified and intrigued. Previous attempts had not been enjoyable yet deep down I knew this was something I wanted to crack. It was a case of ‘I want what they’ve got’ as I looked on at my friends and the people I knew who were doing it. I wanted the benefits but mainly I just wanted to do it! Mostly because I couldn’t and when that happens I’m a bit like a dog with a bone. That’s as far as my motivation went.
Cold water felt very unsafe to me. I was quite fearful.
I did not know what I was doing, and everything in my mind and body initially said no.
I didn’t know how my body would react in the cold – that was my biggest fear.
I didn’t like the feeling in my tummy (specifically) which showed up as panic when the cold water hit it.
I would go in and out of the water around 3 or 4 times faffing and screeching. My fight/flight system was activated.
The end goal of going in for a minute or so without a fuss seemed so distant it took a lot of faith to keep going!
One month earlier, one December day at the Foundry, Alex dropped in that she did it. I found myself jumping at the chance to join her. She agreed to have me and Lucy along (Lu fairly adamant she wouldn’t be doing it – something she would go on to say each time (!)). Without realising it then, this group was going to be pivotal to my success.
That first January visit I dipped in for what must have been less than 10 seconds. Something about Alex’s assured patience and the unsaid group acceptance of ‘be as you are’, enabled me, in that 10 seconds, to see a glimmer of the possible. We returned each subsequent week, with an extra bit of kit: first the neoprene socks, then the gloves, finally the dry robe arrived, soon realising we were quite invested in our new ‘hobby’.
This video here is of me & Lucy last February, in the ‘plunge pool’ as it’s locally known. As you can see, one month into the process, I’d gone from a firm ‘no’ to some kind of ‘sort of’ and hysteria mode! Er yep my sympathetic nervous system is fairly well activated here! That’s Lucy (Creamer) showing it’s all about your own process (wearing her wetsuit on some days and some days not) - part of what it takes to onsight E7 (not wearing a wetsuit). We were both learning. Alex, our leader is taking the video.
And each week I made sure to keep going - yes the summer was fairly straightforward, but I knew tactically it was best to keep going with all the water temperature changes coming into winter. I doubted myself in late September when it suddenly felt cold - but I kept going and here we are. I made it!
I’ve had the most wonderful learning process with this:
Something is always possible if you adapt the level of challenge to the day – with wetsuit or without wetsuit, do it or don’t do it – either way it’s all ok. I knew this anyway - but cold water swimming provided a constant reminder each time!
Tiny steps get you a long way.
Some things just take time.
For me the key was to concentrate (not one of my natural strengths), like really concentrate on what I was doing.
I found a process that worked for me and this in turn allowed me to trust my body (they went hand in hand).
It’s taken a lot for me to be in my own process and ignore other people’s. At one point last October in a cold Welsh lake, I was taking my time (longer than everyone else) when someone, going in for the very first time, shouted out ‘just go in’ (in a friendly but slightly assumptive tone). I didn’t have the confidence to say ‘I’ve been trying every week for 10 months and this is me doing my best’ but I held myself together and eventually went in.
I can now literally observe my nervous system respond and change – it’s powerful knowing we have this control - the power is in observing and allowing. I jog on the spot, wade in to my waist and wait for a small whisper (which I couldn’t hear before because I wasn’t listening for it or concentrating) which says ‘yes’. I go in, it’s very cold but I’m familiar with it now. The discomfort grows but I KNOW it will subside (around 1 minute - this bit I’ve learnt to trust and allow). It does subside, I stay in for a bit and I get out.
I found a deeper motivation, which makes it even more motivating. It took me to around October to realise my mind felt genuinely calmer afterwards – this is so worthwhile for me, that’s what keeps me going now.
Environment and group support is everything – it’s what made it for me – the group allowed me to find my own way and it made it FUN. And if it hadn’t been fun I just would not have persevered.
There are so many crossovers here with climbing - in meeting a fear however it manifests. It shows up in such different ways for so many people – for example falling or a fear of failure. One thing I do know, that if you take your time, in the right environment (which you have the power to know and create), with the right process and willingness to really listen to your own body and mind, your fear is surmountable.
And here is my breakthrough swim December 2022, with snow and ice on the ground (with my daughter filming) when I knew I’d unlocked it – that I can do this!